“You can’t just say that it is like that. You can’t assume. You can’t mark things like that. It’s not how the world works…”
I often wonder as I discover the things around me—are people scared of labels? Or is it really no way to categorize something? It is really what you would call assumption to say something is labeled as such? Continue reading →
Be honest with me…tell me what you think if it.
Tell me, just tell me. I can’t stand this silence.
I just need someone outside to tell me what the voice inside of me is screaming.
That I suck.
That my stuff is boring.
That my writing is boring.
That it’s confusing to read.
That’s why no one can ever bother reading it to the end right?
It’s just only natural in the creative process to be knocked down with a feeling of incompetence. But I could remember a time when that voice shut up and stopped talking for a good number of years. Now it’s back and it’s rattling at my ear. Continue reading →
Life is basically about improvement, it’s about surviving and trying to reach that goal—the one that you spend all your existence figuring out. For me, I’ve had some idea, but I’ve never been able to pinpoint it. Now, I’ve settled with just aiming without knowing where to shoot, and just fucking shooting.
I’m going to start running in the dark. Because life is short, and I can’t waste anymore years second guessing myself. That being said, I am going to revive this blog and bring it up to speed. There isn’t much to change, just add more things and take away a couple of things.
I will add some very old blog entries that I had intended to add a while back and post up my purdy drawings all over the place. ^w^
As for my activities, I’ve been all over the place, drawing here and there, writing some, and listening to lots and lots of Vocaloid songs. I am officially a passionate lover of Vocaloid. It’s helped me spark back my motivation and has become one of my new muses for my arts and writing.
This blog is starting to resemble my neglected diary. But I want to get back on this once more. So, I’m writing this post to keep up to date with it. And possibly build some necessity to keep writing. I’ve been going through a lot and have set several endeavors for myself.
I feel like I need so much more strength and will power to get those things done, because whenever I try, the walls rise higher, in order to prevent me from jumping over. But I’m determined because I virtually see nothing else for myself.
I feel like I’m getting older, like I’m wasting away, like I’m wasting time. It’s only when I’m working without a care in the world that I feel that time itself stands still.
So that’s what I will do, I’m just going to keep working. I feel really happy when I keep myself busy. I’ll see how it goes…
I want to get back on my fanfictions again, but when I think about it, I am reminded of the novel I want to finish…. ahhh I do anything but that don’t I?
I wish everyone to have a very nice Thanksgiving…. enjoy your turkey and those talkative uncles with their round-about tall tales with no point in them… yeah…well as for me, this year will be quite peaceful… I’m glad I don’t have to work on that day. Only on the day after, ahahah.
It’ll be me, my siblings and my mother. Just that. But I’m too weary and tired to whine about not having people over… this is good for me I guess…
It’s said that I write so much about what I want to write or about what I’ve written and next to no one has seen it… it’s like I’m rasing hype of some kind that I could never live up… but I want to it’s just in my brain just flashing scenes and images so vividly that I want to scream and tear it out of my brain and spatter it on paper… those f**king plot bunnies are killing me… they’re eating me alive… it’s so horrible… but at the same time I get so happy when I get a new idea, or when I come up with a new plot twist or a new love interest or a new reason to make a character lost his mind and go delirious… oh it’s so fun… It’s a love/hate relationship that I have it’s so ironic.
Here’s the thing… I’m thinking about posting some of the my writings here in this blog, since it is about “fiction” anyways. I’m planning to put “orginal” stuff… Yeah, some of my raw skills exposed, granted, I like this anonomous feeling that I have posting online because I don’t know how my readers look like… I’m very emotional with my stories, I shelter them like newborn babies *laughs* I just wonder if readers will have a problem reading white letters on a black background… or if the lettering in this blog is too tiny or both… I don’t know, I worry about those little things, ya know?
Whatever story I post here, I plan to later on put them on the fictionpress account that I have… because I like to keep those things in a nice cute collected place. *laughs*
It’s a contest that pushes participates to write 50,000 words (equivalent to about 175 pgs) from Nov 1st to midnight Nov 30th. It’s bum rushing non-stopping caffeine-fueled spree in which writers dive into abandoning any thought or care of revising or editing or looking back or what so ever. It’s just crazy writing. It’s just getting your ideas down on paper…
I tried to do it last year but I failed. And this year, I don’t have time to do it…
It’s too late for those who want to participate now… (I should have posted this sooner, silly me) I’m already registered to participate but those interested can just sign up now for next year. The website is on all year around and maybe those who need a little push for that book idea that sitting in the back their mind may find this useful.
I think I’m going to try… I don’t like to say no. So yes, so you know. I’m also going to put up the website link on the sidebar here so you can check it out for whoever is interested.
I wish good luck to all those participants and to myself…. so off I go!!!
I’ve always wanted to publish a book. Always. It’s like a personal goal have…. The problem is, that I never seem to reach my personal goals. My academic goals most of the time because I need to give in assignments at a certain day or I’ll get a bad grade… so yea.. goals that are pressured on by society or someone… sometimes both. But my personal goals seem to be left behind in the dust.
Now I don’t punish myself as much as I used to, but still I can’t help of whip myself from time to time. Because the truth is, I’m the largest procrastinator you’ve ever met. And it’s pretty sad. I never really stop dreaming and from time to time when I pick up my pen, I continue to keep attacking it… lighting that fire underneath my lazy tush. *laughs*
My first novel, “Orphan” borrows some material from other things, so I really need to revamp it a bit and add some more originality to it… (I started on that when I was in middle school when I had very little creativity) But ideas for my other stories are more original.
But ya know… sometimes people who think about drawing and writing get attacked with the insecurity that it’s impossible to come up with something all on their own, but the truth is:
“There is nothing new under the sun…”
That is something that was told to me by my history teacher. And it really opened my mind and made me realize that new ideas are really not so new after all. Brilliant stories are actually combinations of other stories. Combination of ideas. Combination of themes. Combinations of other life experiences. True creativity is being able to put together those ideas, concepts, themes and storyline to express a story in your own context. It is not paraphrasing, it is taking in those ideas and pouring it out of you through your pen in your own personal view, in your own feelings.
After all inspiration comes from other people other stories, things that already come from other existences….
Fanfiction for those who don’t know what it is, it’s a literary work; chapter story, one-shot, poem, drabbles–that are based on works from a popular fandom, be it a movie (Pirates of the Caribbean) a TV show, (Friends, BONES, CSI) and/or an animated series (Simpsons, Naruto) Right now I feel the longest prevailing and the strongest fandom fanfiction writing that I have found is in anime hands-down. There’s even fiction works written for korean pop bands! (That amazed me…)
Surprisingly I feel more comfortable writing fanfiction than original works which is kinda sad, sorta of… ehhh… not so much. I find it more of a practice actually… I have some issues, I usually feel I’m not really good at writing so I spend more time scribbling drafts or just writing anime fanfiction.
Write now, I’m just writing for Bleach, Naruto, and Gintama… because I’m more inspired to write for them right now… and because they’re really popular… (I’d really love to write for others like Pandora Hearts and Final Fantasy though ^_^”)
I have a link to my fanfiction profile on the side bar under my links—>
If ya like to take a little look feel free. I enjoy writing drama, and romance is a biggy. I don’t like to make it too depressing and I like to put in some comedy here and there…
Fanfiction.net (FFnet) is an awesome place. I like the changes they did to it… because before it was a pain in the butt with all those crazy flamers and plenty of users that write pre-schoolish scribbles that my baby cousin compete with in terms of content and grammar…. no seriously… But now, it’s really improved and I really like it now.. It’s been about five months that I jumped into writing again because for a while I was really out of it.