I have returned if circumstances permit me…

Finally, at long last, I am connected to the internet.

It would be the only reason why I haven’t updated in so long. It’s ridiculous… My life has been one tumbling fall after another. But life is not life without it’s ups and downs. More downs than ups, to be more precise.

Now, I haven’t been so productive this year of 2011, it’s been sort of a downer. And I had so much hopes for this year too… I didn’t know it was going to slap me in the face as much as it did. But well, I am persistent.

I think for Nanowrimo I’m going to work on Orphan story again. Just because I wanna finish the damn MS. It’s so frustrating. I wanna do it before I turn 30… seriously…

Okay, so I mentioned before that I’m going to be adding pages and more stuff to this journal. So, it’s going to be very gradual, since I have tons of stuff I need to catch up on in the absence of my time from the internet.

Well, I’ll see how it all pans out…

I live in the NJ area, so you know what that means: Hurricane Irene. People are scared shitless… I in the other hand am pretty relaxed. I just want to spend a peaceful weekend without any major complications… but most of the time things don’t happen the way you want it to… Well, I don’t want to lose the interent I finally have gotten cuz that would really suck…

Oh well…

Emanuella 1


Okay here’s the first one that I’m going to put up… the first one because it’s the only one at this point that I have typed up. It’s such a weird story that I wasn’t sure on how far I would be going with this… it was written at a time when I was trying comprehend why a female should enjoy watching two men fall in love (yaoi) and all the science behind it.


I don’t like yaoi… I find it the strangest thing I’ve ever seen… and I don’t find any squeal or appeal. But I don’t outright puke at the sight of it. I find it alright I guess but not worth buying or reading or spending any of what little precious time that I have watching it. It’s just funny to see a picture now and then, or read some crazy fan-fics they have out there pairing non yaoi-characters into seme/uke categories. I have playful conversations with my sister saying that Sasuke is an UKE and not a SEME and how Naruto is not and UKE but a SEME so on and so forth… the crazy things these fan-girls do… I mean seriously… but I’m getting seriously off topic so here we go…

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There is nothing new under the sun

I’ve always wanted to publish a book. Always. It’s like a personal goal have…. The problem is, that I never seem to reach my personal goals. My academic goals most of the time because I need to give in assignments at a certain day or I’ll get a bad grade… so yea.. goals that are pressured on by society or someone… sometimes both. But my personal goals seem to be left behind in the dust.

Here’s an awesome article I found on book publishing: Publishing Methods

Now I don’t punish myself as much as I used to, but still I can’t help of whip myself from time to time. Because the truth is, I’m the largest procrastinator you’ve ever met. And it’s pretty sad. I never really stop dreaming and from time to time when I pick up my pen, I continue to keep attacking it… lighting that fire underneath my lazy tush. *laughs*

My first novel, “Orphan” borrows some material from other things, so I really need to revamp it a bit and add some more originality to it… (I started on that when I was in middle school when I had very little creativity) But ideas for my other stories are more original.
But ya know… sometimes people who think about drawing and writing get attacked with the insecurity that it’s impossible to come up with something all on their own, but the truth is:

“There is nothing new under the sun…”

That is something that was told to me by my history teacher. And it really opened my mind and made me realize that new ideas are really not so new after all. Brilliant stories are actually combinations of other stories. Combination of ideas. Combination of themes. Combinations of other life experiences. True creativity is being able to put together those ideas, concepts, themes and storyline to express a story in your own context. It is not paraphrasing, it is taking in those ideas and pouring it out of you through your pen in your own personal view, in your own feelings.

After all inspiration comes from other people other stories, things that already come from other existences….

Writing Fanfiction

Fanfiction for those who don’t know what it is, it’s a literary work; chapter story, one-shot, poem, drabbles–that are based on works from a popular fandom, be it a movie (Pirates of the Caribbean) a TV show, (Friends, BONES, CSI) and/or an animated series (Simpsons, Naruto) Right now I feel the longest prevailing and the strongest fandom fanfiction writing that I have found is in anime hands-down. There’s even fiction works written for korean pop bands! (That amazed me…)

Surprisingly I feel more comfortable writing fanfiction than original works which is kinda sad, sorta of… ehhh… not so much. I find it more of a practice actually… I have some issues, I usually feel I’m not really good at writing so I spend more time scribbling drafts or just writing anime fanfiction.

Write now, I’m just writing for Bleach, Naruto, and Gintama… because I’m more inspired to write for them right now… and because they’re really popular… (I’d really love to write for others like Pandora Hearts and Final Fantasy though ^_^”)

I have a link to my fanfiction profile on the side bar under my links—>
If ya like to take a little look feel free. I enjoy writing drama, and romance is a biggy. I don’t like to make it too depressing and I like to put in some comedy here and there…

Fanfiction.net (FFnet) is an awesome place. I like the changes they did to it… because before it was a pain in the butt with all those crazy flamers and plenty of users that write pre-schoolish scribbles that my baby cousin compete with in terms of content and grammar…. no seriously… But now, it’s really improved and I really like it now.. It’s been about five months that I jumped into writing again because for a while I was really out of it.

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Thoughts here and there

As of right now, I’m just working on several other things I’d like to write about. But my internet is out so, yeah, I’ll just be writing them in my notebook. I think I’ll be getting it back on by Saturday who knows….

I’m realizing how addicted I am to the internet. My mother has been telling me for the past hour to get off the computer *laughs* ahhh but what can you say… There’s much to do once you discover it right? I’m at a friend’s house right now. So yeah… I miss my computer already. I changed my theme because I doesn’t look well in the Mozilla Firefox browser.

Ahhh I’m so lazy, I feel really lazy. I’m also comtemplating on what I’m going to put on my other pages… maybe some pictures of my sister hamster… he’s so cute, that bastard…