Be honest with me…tell me what you think if it.
Tell me, just tell me. I can’t stand this silence.
I just need someone outside to tell me what the voice inside of me is screaming.
That I suck.
That my stuff is boring.
That my writing is boring.
That it’s confusing to read.
That’s why no one can ever bother reading it to the end right?
It’s just only natural in the creative process to be knocked down with a feeling of incompetence. But I could remember a time when that voice shut up and stopped talking for a good number of years. Now it’s back and it’s rattling at my ear.
I originally planned to bunch this with my previous post but it grew to long, so I split it… So, here in this post I’m going to explain all things I’m getting myself entangled with lately. So read on, if you dare… *evil laugh* Continue reading
The time that I’m starting to write this post is waaaaay too late. I should be sleeping right now…BUT! My neglected blog is crying for attention. Mainly because I’ve placed so much work and have so much pride for this blog to just simply go to waste.
I simply hate to always excuse myself as I usually do in my blog/journal entries of the various sites I pertain to, explaining why I have stopped posting, etc. So instead, I’m going to jump into what I have plans to do…
This blog is starting to resemble my neglected diary. But I want to get back on this once more. So, I’m writing this post to keep up to date with it. And possibly build some necessity to keep writing. I’ve been going through a lot and have set several endeavors for myself.
I feel like I need so much more strength and will power to get those things done, because whenever I try, the walls rise higher, in order to prevent me from jumping over. But I’m determined because I virtually see nothing else for myself.
I feel like I’m getting older, like I’m wasting away, like I’m wasting time. It’s only when I’m working without a care in the world that I feel that time itself stands still.
So that’s what I will do, I’m just going to keep working. I feel really happy when I keep myself busy. I’ll see how it goes…
I want to get back on my fanfictions again, but when I think about it, I am reminded of the novel I want to finish…. ahhh I do anything but that don’t I?
Well, I’ve neglected this blog, because I was trying to do lots of things at one time. But I’m gonna try to organize myself for the fifty-millionth time. I have plans to start my Writer’s group, which I called “Bite the Moon” but there’s a lot of things to work out before I can put it online for the world to see. I have a dear friend of mine that’s gonna work with me on terms of running it. So we’ll see how that goes.
Okay now, my Nano progress this year is horrible, but it’s the farthest I’ve gone in any nano I’ve done actually.
This would be my third year doing Nano. But I had hoped that I’d do better than this.
On my first week I was very determined, as I sought to reach 10,000 words by Saturday. The draft immediately started off choppy and overly ansty. I was disgusted. In other words I didn’t like what I was writing. I felt it was fake, but it was possibly because I wasn’t able to really settle down and get into the writing…
It has been a thought that sat in the back of my mind for what felt like years…
Once upon a time, I belonged to an online writing community. Granted, the members on it were mostly inactive, and some people there were a bit biased on some fandom pairing preferences; but it was an eye opening experience for me. I learned about Nanowrimo, for the first time, learned terms like “plot bunnies” and “writer’s block” descriptions of things that I go through all the time and I didn’t realize had names for them. I learned that my procrastinating nature, that my feeling of incompetence, my ups and downs; were actually regular things that any writer goes through.
I also learned that a writer is not a person who publishes a book, or someone who decides to dribble out scribbles and boast about it. A writer is someone who constantly LIVES and breaths words, plot, stories, characters. They are the ones that feel incomplete if they don’t carry a pen and notepad with them. They are the ones that use anything and everything as an inspiration for an idea. They are the ones that look beyond the writing and see if there is feeling, passion behind their works… They are the ones can identify other writers, and easily catch signs of talent in others. I learned that writing is a GIFT, than not everyone can write. That it is not easy, nor is it tedious. It’s fun, and it’s hell at the same time. But, most importantly, it’s something you can’t live without… If you are like that, if you find yourself feeling this way… then that means you indeed are a writer. And you don’t have to publish anything to call yourself one…
That website shut down for obvious reasons, but set off an idea, a though that’s been bugging me ever since….
Why not set up a writer’s club?
Yes, some type of club where people can bounce ideas of each other. And it doesn’t have to be limited to that, but it can also include artists who want have stories/comics to go along with their characters. I notice that there are artists out there that have good characters and ideas, but they struggle coming up with a storyline for them… When writers and artists go hand in hand, together it’s like chocolate and caramel. A bombshell combination.
I want to set up a blog for it and come up with a name. I’m going to have some of my close friends work with me. I also would like to set up a place to chat online. Well, I’ll see how this works out. I still don’t know, how it’s gonna run or anything, but I just wanna get this outta my chest.
If anyone reading this interested, please drop a comment or two.
Well, progress lately has been slow. I don’t have as much free time as I used to. And for some reason, it’s takes more thought and energy to compose chapters than it used to for me in the past. But it’s coming along slowly but surely. I’ve written a couple of chapters for “The Expatriate” and Ulqui/Ruki fic that’s turning into a Ichi/Ruki fic…. well… I don’t control inspiration XDDD. I also started on a Soul Eater fic entitled, “His Way of Thinking”
As for AoM, I’m re-writing a particular scene and it’s taking forever so I’d like to apologize to those who have been waiting for an update… I’m working on it, honest… I’m determined to not post anything on FFnet until I get AoM 14 done first. And that’s a promise…
Well I actually took these pics awhile ago, but I didn’t have the time to write up this post… XP
Wassup! Thought it’d be good, if I show you guys a bit of my workspace. Granted, it doesn’t really look at all of a professional level, but I’m sure this would be an interesting post for you guys to read through.